krystale: (Default)
[personal profile] krystale
I want to climb to the roof and scream at the lightening to hit me.
Energy I understand.
Life has me fried.
I wanna bleed.
But I won't.
Can't sleep, can't eat.
Same story elements, new cast. It is a remake or a new adventure?
So lost feeling.
Yet vaguely aware this is an intuited emotional extremity.
This is my clarion cry to the world then. If you love me, show me. Don't stay away except when I ask for space or you actually need it.
Don't spare me your dark.
I'm not afraid of your dark.
Your darkness cannot haunt me.
My own is too raucous for any distressing feelings to make it so far as your issues.
I want to catch you when you fall.
And I can.
I can take pain more than most just to relax a bit.
Imagine my strength then motivated by love bond, then, the way a mother can lift a car.
Your pains are not burdens to me, they are the tail on my kite, helping me keep my balance.
It is my own internal shit I can't deal with, and you loved me through that. Let me love you when I'm not in that.
Let me be there for you when you need someone.
It's a gift to me to remember I have the strength to carry someone... it's the only way I seem to remember how to carry someone so I can carry myself.
I can feel how noisy and negative it feels in your head even from here.
Even when you shut me out.
I feel the static and the fear and the questioning questioning questioning!
You think you're special, although not in a good way right now, but you're not.
You're not special and neither am I.
But you're real.
And so is the fact that I want to keep you in my life.
To me life is about the yous in my life.
Living is for living with others living.
Or, at least that's the course I'm on.

I can love all of you. Every twisted angry frightened bit.
You just have to let me.
It may be the only thing I can do.
But I can.
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