krystale: (Default)
I always interpreted Pasqwall as well adjusted. I think maybe he's just imprinted and codependent? Yesterday, as we waiting outside during the fire alarm, he was OK, considering, until I went to use a bathroom and get coffee. When I came back he was successfully digging a hole through the carrier. He had his paw out, waving it around, then pulled it in to grab and yank more. I sat back with him and held his paw a moment and then tucked it back in. He tried once or twice more, but stopped when I said, "no, hunny, no do. You gotta stay in there and be a good boy. You're a good boy." He stopped entirely then, didn't try again the rest of the time, several hours, but he stayed plastered to whatever side of the carrier was nearest whatever part of me was nearest. Normally, he runs to the door if there's a knock. Now, he won't spend more than eating or potty time more than a few feet away from me. It's as though even though I take him where he hates, I'm the only one he trusts. Do I help him grow or accept he's pretty happy as is? No doubt he'll mellow down, but I've never seen him react with fear before and the first fire truck to go by after we were back in got a terrified reaction, although he was willing to lean against me and look out the window when I said a firm but gentle, "no, no scared, just a fire truck, look." When you're adopted and divorced, you're a bit unclear on life long loyalty, so it's a big mental experience for me to discover it's ME in particular that Pasqwall bases his security with. It didn't occur to me until today he'd try to come after me if we were separated in a crisis. It's sort of beautiful in a way, but I want him to be putting his safety tops, not me. His brother was diagnosed with Downs. I often have wondered if he has a touch of special wiring, too. He has so much in common with that brother, just doesn't have the face nearly so flattened and has been kept indoors
But as I write this a large truck goes by loudly and he moves all by himself to the window beside me to look down and see. He now automatically looks down for car related sounds, there's no more confusion from it bouncing off the opposite building. He's got a new level of curiosity. I guess that part is a good thing.

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krystale

July 2017

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